The Fat Shaming Video and My Ongoing Battle of the Bulge

It just occurred to me I haven't posted in this blog in some time; I've since moved to 2 different states for new jobs (and might do it again soon). I'm probably up 30 pounds since my last post (and that's after a 10 pound loss since the beginning of the year). It was likely due more to lessened physical exercise, particularly since I developed a painful bone spur; I also have a thyroid condition, and I haven't had a prescription refill since I left Maryland.  I had restarted weight charting at the beginning of the year (infamous New Year resolution to lose weight) and resumed after the middle of August with a new scale; my weight was consistent before and after the interim, meaning that the weight gain mostly happened last year. (I should note that I had bounced hard off my diet low around my last post in November 2013 so about 8 pounds of the interim gain occurred before I started my new job in late 2013.)

I don't think I've addressed fat shaming in this blog, Nicole Arbour, a Youtube comedienne, posted the infamous video above and reportedly lost a movie role in the ensuing firestorm. I consider myself an amateur humorist and often poke fun at myself. But weight is not a funny topic; it's not that I'm overly sensitive, and I certainly don't go around agitating for the civil rights of over sized citizens. The idea that obesity is simply a matter of overeating the wrong things, a lack of self-control, etc, as Ms. Arbour suggests, is uninformed. For example, I almost never eat baked desserts, ice cream, packaged snack foods; I don't load up at all-you-care-to-eat restaurants. On a typical day, I might eat a 2-egg omelet in a low-carb tortilla for breakfast, a turkey burger on whole wheat sandwich thins with a salad (olive oil dressing) for lunch, and for dinner, a baked piece of salmon on a bed of shirataki noodles with a bowl of broth including veggies, like Brussels sprouts, broccoli, or green beans. Over the past week, eating on this regimen, I've seen my weight climb gradually rise from a month low about 1.5 lbs before a 2.5 lb. whoosh and new diet low this morning. But if Ms. Arbour saw me at over 100 pounds overweight, she would no doubt ridicule my appearance. It doesn't really affect me; she's not someone whose opinion matters to me. Everyone saw Jerry Lewis in one of his final MDA telethons who had put on serious weight, mostly in response to his meds; I have a little sister who did the same.

We don't need lectures on the health risks of obesity; our doctors check our weight every visit, they give us diet plans. It can be almost impossible to get individual health plans if your body mass index exceeds a certain benchmark, even if you've been mostly healthy all your life. When I had to make last-minute flight arrangements to see my dying father last year, I had to take whatever seats were available, especially the dreaded middle seats--not to mention the indignity of asking for  a seat extender. Buying clothes can be a serious hassle; a lot of mine have been ordered through the Internet.

I have mentioned in my blogs some of my experiences. One of the ones that sticks out in my memory was when I drove down to LA from Silicon Valley on a project back in 2000. On an isolated stretch in the middle of nowhere on I-5, I had a major blowout--and it was all but impossible to loosen the flat tire's lugnuts under a broiling sun.  To make things worse, I didn't have a cellphone. (I've had one since the incident.) As I was out there, one of the cars traveling north, slowed down, the driver rolled down his window to yell "Oink! Oink!" at me, and he and his passengers were laughing at his witty behavior. It was annoying, but to be honest, I was an assistant professor for 5 years, and I've had my fill of obnoxious adolescent behavior.

More recently, in my political blog, I noted some Chicago area union workers were spamming my opinions in a free market Facebook forum. One of my brothers took a picture of me with one of my beautiful grandnieces at a Knights of Columbus brunch following my father's funeral mass which I used for my profile picture. These jerks were saying things like I looked hungry enough to eat my niece; there were other sophomoric attempts to mock my size, like I must get winded going to the bathroom, that I couldn't find my penis under my rolls of fat, etc. And one of the women, much like Ms. Arbour, condescendingly lectured me how bad obesity was for my health, that I was a heart attack waiting to happen. [I'm not exactly sure they picked that up from a picture that cropped most of my body.]

I'm sure people like Ms. Arbour are well-intentioned, but please don't give unsolicited advice. Obesity is a complex phenomenon.  For those of us who are middle-aged, a slowing metabolism is a natural consequence of the aging process. There are individual differences; people with the same diet and exercise regimen can lose weight at different rates. Often when we eat less food, the body adjusts by a starvation defense in slowing metabolism. Believe us, we know that there is a social stigma over obesity; as a man, for example, I've noticed that most women are not attracted to obese men, and in the past the closer I got to my ideal weight, women were more likely to flirt. People won't make eye contact, they don't want to sit near you. You walk onto a plane and you see dozens of people silently praying that you're not in their row.

As for me, Ms. Arbour and her type have every right to express their opinions. Mocking other people's appearances, however, is mean-spirited and doesn't win friends or influence people.